kerryingon

We’ve made it, friends. 52 full weeks of one glorious year! I’m pretty fucking shocked that I actually did one of these for every week. Kind of tempted to print them out & bind them into a little book but more into the idea of releasing these weeks into the world and moving into this next adventure of 2012. Isn’t that how this life thing goes anyway? So for one last time of 2011, LET’S RECAP:

• CHRISTMAS. Hello. AWESOME. I got a vacuum and was so excited that I cried, screamed and laughed for about 7 minutes straight. 3.5 of which my brother-in-law filmed that I’m pretty sure needs to get uploaded to YouTube. There has never been a reaction to a vacuum like this in the world.
• Family time non-stop. Puppy time non-stop.
• Cameron Fife is in town. Always awesome.
• My girlfriends all in one place at a bar in my hometown neighborhood sort of made this whole year come full circle. I loved every second.
• Last night, the 30th, was celebrated with a beautiful marriage between two of my favorite people who fully encompass Love.
• Recognizing and Loving the effort that is being made that I maybe have missed for the past few years. Feeling like a 15 year old.
• Getting lost, being late, running in & eating serious amounts of chocolate with my sorority sisters.
• Ice skating at Rockefeller Center with my family. Waiting in line for 3 hours to skate 5 minutes but knowing I’ll enjoy that memory for a good long time.
• Being out of the city long enough to actually hear myself is the best gift of the whole week.

I’m really grateful for this year. I…

• got my own place 
• figured out how to live in NYC
• dated some incredible people before realizing that my heart hasn’t been mine to give away in a very long time
• traveled to my other favorite city of Los Angeles
• watched with awe as my best friend and her husband brought a beautiful baby girl into the world 
• traveled to San Francisco
• met with amazing industry people including two on my “oh my god am I really meeting these people” list
• fell back in love with my craft
• did the hardest, scariest thing I ever thought I would
• traveled to San Diego
• realized the importance of my friends (again)
• did intense self realization work and came out on the other side so much better for it
• watched as my Henry pup finally shed away almost all of his fears and anxieties and has become a happy, floppy, full of joy and trust dog
• secured incredible agents and started in a new division of the business
• tried every other single career I could think of instead of acting before realizing I’m an actor, for better or worse
• watched endless friends get engaged and married; watched my sister get married
• tried a ton of new classes that I wanted to try but was afraid to
• saw so much theatre that I was seeing a new show almost every week
• stopped being afraid of Love

Truth be told, I’m ready for 2012. I’ve faced so many fears, issues and worries this past year that I’m ready to let them live in the past and keep gaining more Love, truths, adventures and joy in my present and future. Thanks for reading along with me during this year - I’ve realized that recapping all of my blessings each week have made me much more grateful, patient and trusting.

Recently, someone asked what I would have told myself 6 months ago about my life today. I replied with what I would tell myself in the future and all of you right this second: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. You’re exactly where you are. Trust in it.

Wishing you a beautiful, safe, happy and healthy New Year’s Eve and 2012. Chase down your dreams, friends. I believe in you. xx

2010 was really strange and hard and beautiful and messy. Here’s what stands out:

• I found out failure is awesome and I’m allowed to be any one I want at any time as long as it’s myself. 
• I started the year in Toronto and followed it with Edmonton, Calgary, San Francisco, Chico, Los Angeles, a road trip to Tucson, back to LA, Austin, Fort Worth, NJ, NYC, DC, Denver, Seattle, back to NYC, back to Toronto, Cleveland and then did another round of NYC, NJ, San Fran and LA just for good measure. Exactly half the year was spent on tour and the other half was spent traveling/living off of tour.
• I had my heart broken so bad at the end of 2009 that I thought I’d spend all of 2010 in tears and never recover.
• I recovered.
• The only human whom I can’t imagine not having in my life, lovingly known as A on this blog, drove up the coast of California and told me he loved me for the first time ever. I followed this by crying and fighting with him for 7 hours. A week later, I realized I was in love with him and have been trying to figure out what to do about that since.
• I busted out my dinosaur alter ego in as many places as possible.
• I climbed into a black hole of depression so deep that it took me a really long time to remember that light exists. It’s probably the second best thing that’s ever happened to me.
• I fell in love with a beautiful baby dog named Henry and brought him to live with me so he would finally have a home. He teaches me what love is every single day. He also caused the great poop explosion of 2010.
• My Osteopath changed how I see everything. She is one of the amazing people on the team that fully assembled this year including a voice teacher, a therapist, a counselor, a personal trainer, an acting coach and the most supportive agents ever.
• I cleaned out, threw out, feng shui-ed and completely redid my bedroom as my first interior design project.
• I attempted to date someone “normal” and he turned out to be a professional snowboarder. The rest were (of course) all actors, directors, writers & musicians. At least I’m consistent.
• I sang in Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS benefits, began a never-ending giving challenge, joined TDF, started working with a new not-for-profit and donated to several different organizations.
• The world lost an amazing human who changed my life (and lots of other peoples lives) for the better.
• I finally started learning French. I love French.
• I filmed my first music video & did extra work for 30 Rock. The first is for me, the second is not.
• I sent my application in for Juilliard.
• I’m actually doing something with all of the music I’ve written and get so excited about it that I’m actually still having trouble talking about it.
• I started a design & personal style blog even though the idea of doing this terrifies me.
• My magic came back. I started to remember. I learned that DOING is more important than thinking, when I’m scared of something it means I must do it and found out (again) that everything is possible. All of it. I began to be alive again.

Tomorrow starts a new year but every single day provides a new chance. Nothing has to come along with you to the next day unless you want it there. Eyes open, heart open.